Donkey

Two donkeys talk about what they have seen and conclude they are better than man. It could be true.

Jefferys Taylor

‘TWAS in a shady, cool, retreat,
Two friendly donkeys chanced to meet,
Who, resting from a tedious walk,
Laid down, and soon began to talk.

“Well met,” said one,—”good morning, brother!”
“Aha! good morning,” said the other;
—”A cloudy day—shall we have thunder?”
“Sir,” said his friend, “I should not wonder;
The cattle seem for shelter going,
The sheep are bleating, cows are lowing,
The frogs are croaking, geese are wheezing,
Pigs are grunting, cats are sneezing,
And as for me, I’m well aware,
There must be something in the air;
For I’ve got such a cold to-day,
And am so hoarse, I can scarce bray.”

“Well,” said the other, “who’d have thought it;
Surely this south-west wind has brought it;
For I’ve a cold, but I suppose
Mine must have settled in my nose;
For I’ve entirely lost my smell,
Although I bray exceeding well.”

“Ah!” said his friend, “beyond dispute,
A donkey’s nerves are more acute
Than those of men, who ne’er foresee
A thunder-storm so soon as we;
And don’t you think although we’re asses,
Our sense and reason their’s [sic] surpasses?”

“Why don’t you know,” his friend replied,
“Our reason is by them denied;
When told of brute’s sagacity,
They have the strange audacity
To say ’tis instinct, and maintain
We’ve nothing else to guide our brain!
Yet brutes do nothing half so silly
As I’ve seen done by Master Billy;
I’ve known him go and tie the grass,
Across the way where people pass;
Or push his play-mates in the dirt,
Not caring much if they were hurt.

This the sole object of his labours,
To please himself and plague his neighbours.
‘Twas not ten days ago I think,
As I was stooping down to drink,
His sense and reason to discover,
He needs must turn the water over;
Now was this wise or was it not?
Pray was it reason, sense, or what?
If it was reason, there’s no doubt
‘Tis better far to be without;
And if ’twas instinct, then I say,
We have a better sort than they;
But I’m convinced these actions shew
That they have neither of the two.”