A Sow and Dog argued. The Sow swore by Venus she would disembowel the Dog if he did not mend ways. Dog said few ate pork; Sow said nobody ate Dog.
When you can’t argue, confound.
There pass’d some hard words betwixt a sow and a dog, and the sow swore by Venus, that she’d tear his guts out, if he did not mend his manners. Ay, says the dog, you do well to call upon her for your patroness, that will not so much as endure any creature about her that eates swines flesh. Well (says the sow) and that’s a token of her love, to hate any thing that hurts me; but for dogs flesh, ’tis good neither dead, nor living.
Where the matter in controversy will not bear an argument, ’tis a turn of art to bring it off with a paradox.
Sus per Venerem Iurans et Canis
Sus et canis se mutuis conviciis insectabantur. Ac sus quidem per Venerem iurabat suis se dentibus canem dilaceraturam. Ad haec canis ironice dixit, “Bene per Venerem nobis iuras; significas enim te ab illa vehementer amari, quae lege vetavit ne suum ingredi templum auderet, qui impuras tuas carnes degustasset.” Cui sus “Ita,” respondit, “suum erga me amorem Dea magis declarat, dum, qui me necat aut quovis modo laedit, omnino aversatur. Tu vero, et viva et mortua, male semper oles.”