A drunken Husband was taken to the morgue by his wife. She came back later but the Husband told her to go away unless she had drink for him.
It’s hard to give up bad habits.
A certain woman had a Drunken Husband, whom she had tried in many ways to reclaim. It was all of no use. One night when he was brought home, as usual, quite unconscious, she bad him carried to a neighbouring tomb. Dressing herself in a weird costume. and with a mask upon her face, she awaited his return to his senses. Then, advancing in a solemn manner, she offered him some food, saying in a sepulchral tone, “Arise and eat. It is my office to bring food to the dead.” “Ah,” said he, “if you had known me better, you would have brought me something to drink instead.”
A woman that lay under the mortification of a fuddling husband, took him once when he was dead drunk; and had his body layd in a charnel-house. By the time that she thought he might be come to himself again, away goes she, and knocks at the door. Who’s there (says the toper). One, says the woman, that brings meat for the dead. Friend, says he, bring me drink rather. I wonder any body that knows me, should bring me one without t’other. Nay then, says she, the humour I perceive has taken possession of him; he has gotten a habit, and his case is desperate.
Inveterate ill habits become another nature to us, and we may almost as well be taken to pieces, and new put together again, as mended.
Uxor et Vir Ebrius
Cum mulier quaedam ebriosum virum haberet eumque ab hoc morbo liberare omnimodo vellet, huiusmodi astutiam excogitavit: ut somno eum ex ebrietate correptum sensusque expertem mortui ad instar aspexit, sublatum in humeros ad sepulcretum extulit, ibique deposito discessit. Cum vero eum expergefactum nec vino amplius gravem coniecit, ad sepulcretum reversa, fores eius pulsavit. Vir quis eas percuteret rogat, sed uxor, “Mortuis cibaria ferens, en adsum ego,” respondit. Cui ille, “Non mihi cibum, sed potum, O bone, potius affer; tristem enim me reddis, dum cibi, non potus mentionem facis.” Tunc coniunx, sibi manibus pectus percutiens, “Heu me miseram,” inquit, “quae ne hoc astu quidem nihil profui tibi! Nam tu, non modo emendatus non es, sed peior quoque temetipso evasisti.”